Tag Archives: friend

Summer ’18

Well now, it’s been a while. Stuff happened so let’s talk about them before I get preoccupied with even more stuff.

PART I: THE FUN THING ABOUT NOTHING

I went on a trip to an island somewhere in Sorsogon. I was there with some of my co-workers and we all have that understanding among ourselves about how much we needed this break away from the office. It was a few hours away from my parent’s hometown so the whole experience was new. No, it’s not the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen clearer water and finer sand. But it was definitely one of the best vacations I’ve ever had. You know why? Because that was the only vacation where I actually get to do NOTHING!

And by “nothing” I mean just staying inside the cottage and waiting until it was okay to swim under the sun.

I used to believe that in order for a getaway at the beach to be worthwhile, I had to stay in the water for as long as I can. And I would just end up extremely tanned and nothing much has changed within me. I finally understood that delightful feeling of watching the waves as I breathe the fresh air of the ocean. I finally realized, in rare moments with nature like these, how important it is to pause for a while and reflect on life. Without plans and without other places to be. It was as if I was stuck in another space and it was just me and that horizon. And everything was at peace.

PART II: SUCH FOL-DE-ROL AND FIDDLE-DEE-DEE OF COURSE IS

I also went on another musical phase. I got obsessed with Rodger’s and Hammerstein’s Cinderella (2013). I guess it all started with watching Broadway Princess Party on Youtube. The whole event was fun enough–you get to see Broadway actors singing classic Disney songs. And one of those actors was Laura Osnes. Some of her performances was this beautiful medley of Disney songs and this wonderful rendition of “I See the Light” with Zachary Levi (guy who voiced Flynn Rider from Tangled).

In my everyday experience with music, I get to listen to beautiful voices by beautiful people from beautiful songs. But there are just some voices where you’d want for more. Laura’s was one of them. And I scrambled my way through Spotify and looked for her just to satisfy my ears. And that’s when I found myself drowned in this classic tale of glass slippers and fairygodmothers and dreams. And even though Cinderella is not my favorite (part of that is her passivity towards her so-called dreams because it shall be taken care of by karma and her deus ex-fairygodmother), she has become part of my childhood. And man, the songs were catchy and magical.

PART III: CUTE NAMES LIKE HIMIKO AND EZIO

I stopped playing Skyrim. And did that make me a more productive person? Nope. It was only replaced by more video games, Tomb Raider (2013) and Assassin’s Creed II. 

I’d like to start with Assassin’s Creed II since there’s a lot to talk about in Tomb Raider (2013). My first experience with this game was back in 2014 when I got this laptop from my cousin and there was Assassin’s Creed: Revelation installed. And I’m pretty sure I mentioned a little bit about it here. Anyway, it was a fun game. The parkour was awesome and having that liberty on choosing what kind of kill you’d do for a target was an exhilarating feeling.

Let’s move on to Tomb Raider (2013). I am in love with Lara Croft’s character in this particular game. Well, she has been part of my childhood but I didn’t quite relate to her. She was just, at least for me, a badass Angelina Jolie character and nothing more.

Then this game came along and suddenly, Lara Croft was like this girl you see in school but never really know and you never really cared. And then you two got stuck in a situation, like a lab partner in Science class or something. And she turned out to be a really cool person and you two become really awesome friends. And you’re sort of torn between jealousy and attraction because she’s really hot and really badass and she has everything you do not have. You either want to make out with her or push her in the hallways just to check if she’s vulnerable to embarrassment because seriously you can’t be all that perfect what the hell, girl, there has to be a flaw!

Anyway, Tomb Raider (2013) is an awesome game. Sure, the graphics and gameplay was already good enough but the thing that I really loved about it is the actual story of how Lara came to be. She started as this selfish, curious explorer who cared more about uncovering answers than the welfare of the people around her. Which then led to consequences and she gradually changed into this human being who is determined to save her friends despite the danger that comes her way. Then again, it may be because of guilt. I mean, if I were her, I would want to save everyone knowing the fact the I was the reason they were there in the first place.

Whatever she was, it didn’t really matter. I was inspired by her determination, resourcefulness and care for other people. To be honest, I see so much of Nancy Drew in her. I guess that’s the reason why I love her.

PART IV: SHORT MENTION OF NON-EXISTENT STUFF

Now, I have been made fun of for being attracted to video game characters. First of all, I am not attracted to video game characters. Second, even if I was, which I’m not, video game characters are no different from film characters or book characters. Sure, these are non-existent characters but see, there’s this thing in philosophy about universe of discourse and y’all guys should check it.

My point here is that I have come to relate to these video game characters more than the people in real life and that makes them stood out. That makes me interested and engaged (or maybe even attracted) to them.

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Failed Meet-Ups

I guess it wouldn’t hurt to write one more entry. I mean, it’s been weeks since I last updated this shit. Now, I am not here to discuss any more political or literary subjects. I’m just gonna rant about something that has happened to me quite a lot. Awhile ago it happened to me again, so I realized I’ve had enough of this fuckery.

Okay, so if you decided to meet up with a friend, especially someone you haven’t seen in a long while, do not blow that meet-up by changing plans at the last minute. No, you are not allowed to forget that you have a scheduled reunion. You are not even allowed to let your mind skip and casually leave your friend waiting at your agreed meet-up place. You are not allowed to be late for…I don’t know, an hour. And most importantly, you’re even allowed to not show up.

And fuck you for saying I’m being a clingy friend because you know why?

That slightest change of mind probably broke your friend’s heart into a million pieces. No, you didn’t just break her heart. You pulverized it into dust and blew it straight to her eyes which caused tears to fall down her sorry-ass face.

You don’t know how excited she feels on these rare meet-ups. How she is willing to cancel everything out just to spend time with you. It’s sucky because the moment you say sorry about it, she’s not allowed to say anything else aside from “It’s okay, maybe next time,”. Because if she did complain and say what she feels, it’s gonna backfire to her when she gets named as the clingy friend.

And no one wants to be that annoying friend who is known for being possessive and obsessed and needy.

But she’s not being clingy. Give some thought to it. She just cares to the people that are important to her.

Lang Leav-ish

On second thoughts, I do have something to say, actually. But no, it’s not everyone’s obligation to know or understand. This thing is addressed to you. Yes you. You may or may not know who you are but yeah this is for you and I’m doing this for my friend.

She misses you. Like a lot. There was never a day that she didn’t think about you. Literally. I mean, she’s been trying real hard to be casual around you. You know, like waiting minutes before she reply to your messages despite getting so giddy when you talk to her. I have no idea what on earth did you do to her that made her this crazy and stupid and weird and madly fallen. 

As much as I wanted my old friend back, I guess I can’t. She’s running around this prairie of temporary happiness. And she’s enjoying every moment of it while it lasts. She knows it’s never going to be. She understands that.

But things can’t get normal anymore when you’re around. Whenever she sees you, it’s all speechlessness and uncontrollable beatings of the heart . Everything stops. And I have to smack her right in the face just so she could come to her senses.  

I’m not asking for any help from you to solve this madness. I know you can’t do anything about it . I can’t. Hell, I don’t think she can too. 

So here’s a random doodle of a zombie to lighten things up in this cold and heartless and devastating world.

zombie

Desolate Inferno

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You are the least expected person to know that much about my life. And vice versa, I don’t even think that I’m the closest person who’ll be interested in your  life. But here we are. You started off as a recurring character in my circle of friends. I never really knew that much about you and I never really cared. But I guess, as years went by we just sorta stuck.

And I’m quiet thankful for putting up with me for the past years. I mean, I never really had regrets on being mean to you but you know, I never hated you. I mean who could? You’ve always been thoughtful to your friends. You know how to listen and you’re the person to trust on big stories. And you’re really funny. I guess that’s the reason why I started hanging out with you in the first place. You’re humor is so relatable that it does not require intense thought. Everyone gets it that’s why it’s funny.

I’l forever treasure the first important conversation we ever had back at that senior’s tribute after party. When we decided to go out, have some air and talk. It’s funny how it took us 3 years to open ourselves up to each other. But that doesn’t stop being me from being mean to you. Just so you know.

Happy Birthday Muscle Man.

The Purely Written Medium

Daily Post: It’s a Text, Text, Text, Text World

“Let’s talk about this in person.”

Probably it’s because it’s more convenient to talk in person without typing shit and all that but can’t we talk here? Right now? I mean, don’t you think that it reduces the excitement and the burst of emotions if we still wait for another day that we can personally meet and talk about it? Think about it, there is a correlation between the length of time before you talk about a juicy subject and the intensity of wanting to talk about it.

It might not be true to everyone, but in my experience of real talks and late-night conversations it’s not arguable.

But in my world, the people I’ve talked to usually prefer talking in person because according to them, it’s easier to say the things that they wanted to say. That’s why, I think, they risk that perfect moment for a good conversation and save it for another day when they can tell me in person. And that is how they reach out to me.

Well, I think that I have a different view regarding this situation. You see, I tend to talk more in online messages than in real life. I don’t know if it’s because chatting requires a lot of activities like typing and thinking and revising some shit if it sounds off or because I’m just too awkward to say something to someone after a long shit I just heard from them in person.

To be honest, I prefer the written medium when it comes to reaching out because I can organize what I needed to say. I’m more confident and the face of who you’re talking to doesn’t distract you. Plus, I don’t need to panic and it’s gives me time to think what I really want to say. I still think it’s as genuine as it is when you personally say it even if it’s been edited out because I know that it came from my heart and that’s how exactly I want to say it.

Here’s To The November Kids: Jen

jen

For whatever reasons the fates had on why we didn’t become close friends right away and that we had to wait for a couple of months before we could actually talk about real stuff, I am still thankful for that because we wouldn’t be as we are right now. You’re one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. I just want to acknowledge that because seriously, all those hilarious remarks on people (even though it can be really mean)  are priceless. Thank you for being such a thoughtful friend. You’re always the one who looks for everyone else just so we could all be together. Thank you for checking the attendance if everyone is there and thank you for the efforts of calling us whenever we’re not around. Thank you for coming up with plans.

I seriously miss you. This semester, I haven’t been seeing some people because of shitty schedules. But I just want you to know that our talkshows are still airing and that there are a lot of poles for us to cling on and that there’s abundance of tap water to gargle and that there are a lot of pictures to show how intimate we are and that there are lot of books to read and that there are a lot of songs to share. All of those things are still there, just waiting for us.

Happy Birthday 🙂

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Also, I was browsing for pictures to post on your birthday and look what I found. It’s no wonder I can’t get a boyfriend.

What are we doing with our life?

Michael

September 19, 2014

I saw Michael again today after many years. I was out awhile ago because the internet has not been back so once again I had to go to a computer shop (In which I left my account open and god knows what’s going to happen to me). After that, I went to do some errand when somebody called out. And it was him.

“How are you? Still going to school?”

I said yes.

He held out his hand (a gesture indicating I had to pay respect by pressing my forehead to his hand) And then he started talking gibberish again and there’s nothing I could do but nod and say I had to go. Then he told me to take care of myself. I nod again and smiled at him and went on my way.

When I was in elementary school, and there’s no one to pick me up after school, I usually ride home with my friends’ favorite pedicab driver – a guy named Michael who has speech problems, tucks his pants higher than his waist and never forgets to greet an elder. You see, most of the pupils in my school had grown quite affeccionate to him because his behavior is years behind his age and probably his brain is the same age as ours. I guess that’s why he kinda feels connected to us.

Everyday at 4:30 in the afternoon we’d pester him with childish but mean insults. Sometimes he’d even cry to it. But here’s one thing I’m sure of, we never teased him about his condition. And I guess because we were never really bothered by what he is. In some days, especially in a good weather, we’d prefer walking alongside his pedicab while our bags stay on the passenger seat. We’d tease him again by pushing the ride wherein he’d lost control. And then he’d be mad at us. But everything cools down whenever we’d stop by a store to buy some iced candy.

He was never into any trouble, our parents trusted him and we are all friends with him. It’s not like we look forward to him every dismissal, it’s just that after we’re through playing whatever game we could come up with in the school yard, he’s always there. Waiting in his pedicab.