Category Archives: Reviews

Alive and Well

Zombie stories are back (at least in my life). You know, there actually was a point in my life where I actually liked stories about the undead. Back in freshmen college I used to hang out with this friend and she was awfully obsessed…really obsessed with zombies. She got me watching all kinds of zombie films in all kinds of genre from the dark and gritty (Dawn of the Dead, 28 Days Later) to the lighthearted and fun (Zombieland, Shaun of the Dead). She made me watch the whole series of Resident Evil and she even made me play the videogame which I believe I talked about here. She was there when I was watched The Walking Dead for the first time. And guess who was with me when I watched Warm Bodies when it premiered (I would have been there when World War Z premiered had it not been for the fact that we weren’t on speaking terms because of some conflict that we had at that time lol).

I haven’t even told you weirdest part.

In our long walks around the city, she’d call dibs on every structure she would find sturdy or secure in case a zombie apocalypse comes. And then she’d go on and talk about this elaborate plan of hers on how she’s going to survive that first day of the outbreak.

She’s that weird which is why I don’t hang out with her anymore.

I’m kidding. I still tolerate her. She’s someplace faraway though, probably shoving her zombie obsession down on other people’s throats. Now that I think about her and where she is now, I don’t think she’ll survive the zombie apocalypse. For one thing, her ‘training’ in taekwondo is useless on zombies. The use of just your limbs to kill a zombie is not really practical and it consumes the energy you will have to conserve in order to survive the rest of the day. Another reason why she’ll die the first day of the outbreak is she cannot go outside the house without her make up on. And I don’t think make-up is the most practical thing to scavenge on a zombie apocalypse. I think she would rather die than go outside the house without her fake eyebrows.

Anyway, there was a point in my early college years that zombie films are EVERYWHERE. So there really was no reason not to be involved in this kind of genre. And like any other trend, it comes and goes. One moment it’s on every medium of storytelling and then everyone’s sick and tired of it. And the hype dies down.

And I won’t think about zombies for another five years.

So I was searching for podcasts on Spotify when I came across this radio drama called We’re Alive: A Story of Survival. I was caught up with work so I didn’t have the time research about it so I didn’t know what to expect. The premise was the same as any other zombie film–just another day at work and then BAM! commotion and confusion. The only difference in this story is that there were no visuals to guide me. My only source of information were the sounds of the actors, the background music and the foley.

In the first few minutes it was an okay story. It didn’t excite or interest me that much but I didn’t bother to change it because I was too busy with other things. It wasn’t until I was about to go home when I realized I’ve been listening to it the entire day. That’s when I decided it’s one of those stories you’d stick to until the very end.

It took me a marathon of almost 3 weeks to finish it. And in that 3 weeks I’ve come to love the characters just by hearing their voices. I’m so happy that I get to finish a story while doing work! Podcasts saves a LOT of time!

Now let’s move on to the actual reason why I’m here: It’s review time so SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

So the story is about these three soldiers Michael, Angel and Saul finding themselves in a zombie outbreak. As the story progresses, more characters are introduced until the whole show is an ensemble of emotions, issues and complicated decision makings. But it’s a fun ensemble and I found myself loving ALL the characters (except for Michael but let’s talk about him later).

There were problems in introducing the main plot–which is about finding the source of the outbreak and defeating the main antagonist (guy named Ink). First of all, the information about the main plot was stacked in one season making it too much for the audience to absorb. Second, it wasn’t given much importance until the very end of season 3. The build up was so abrupt, the climax didn’t really affect me. Yes, there were hints in the first few seasons but there wasn’t enough mystery for me to hold on to ‘the man with markings’.

But despite the problems with the main plot, the subplots compensated it. Each season’s plot were interesting and exciting and it really drove the characters to grow.

Another thing I found difficult was how time moves in the story. Sometimes I’d be surprised how long they’re stay in a particular place was and it desynchronizes (lol I’ve been playing too much Assassin’s Creed) the whole experience.

The use of journal reading was…okay. But I kinda wish they avoided that. Sure, it’s easier to convey emotion through narration (especially when a story is limited visually) but it removes the tension and it moves the audience further away from the situation.

My favorite thing about the series is the fact that it revolves around the people and not the outbreak. It talks about how it affects each individual and what it does to the community. The action scenes were great but there is something about the conflict among the characters that made me stick around. It was all about the people put in a situation that happens to be a zombie apocalypse.

Now let’s talk about of some the characters.

Michael is not my favorite. Aside from the fact that most of the story comes from his point of view, he wasn’t a very interesting character. Sure, there were details about his past but it didn’t really do much for me to empathize with him. And how he treated Pegs was really shitty.

I do appreciate his pressure and weight of being a leader of a community though. I love how the series portrayed him as a good but ineffective leader. Like, how he cared for the people not because they’re people but because it’s his duty as a soldier to protect them. And I love how that evolved as the series progress.

Angel was the type of character you’d be into for no apparent reason other than you pictured him in your mind as cute. I love how he started off a arrogant and learned to cool down and just be reliable. I didn’t like the way he died, though. It didn’t make sense keeping him alive and THEN just shooting him. His history involving Scratch was blurry and useless.

Saul and Lizzy were few of my favorite characters. I find them really cute together and their story arc was the most intense. I loved how far they’d go to keep each other alive (which was ironic since both of them died, eventually). I also liked that they had to die and leave behind a child that everyone feels protective of. They remind me a lot of Tonks and Lupin of the Harry Potter series.

Pegs was like the Sansa Stark of the story. She started off as this whiny, anti-gun gardener girl to this bad-ass helicopter pilot who stopped giving two shits about this guy who treated her poorly.

Riley is bad-ass. There’s not much to say except I didn’t really understand why she had to go on this fruitless effort with Burt to find Scratch. I didn’t expect her to reach this low point where she cared nothing but revenge. Revenge that didn’t really get to have a closure in the end.

I have this love-hate relationship with Burt. Although I didn’t approve some of his random decision making, he was really funny and I wish he could’ve had more sarcastic moments with Kelly. She’s another favorite because of her sarcasm and how much she’s changed in the series.

I guess I will have to criticize Datu’s character from a Filipino point-of-view. First of all, I loved that I felt represented having a character someone from my own country. Second, I kinda wished Datu was given more depth. That he’s not just some convenient maintenance guy who saves the day when something is broken. Third, I wish the series gave much thought on the fact that he is a father working overseas for his two children and doesn’t get to be with them in this end-of-the-world zombie apocalypse shit. Because Filipinos are all about family. Especially when one is working abroad. Fourth, his accent was a bit distracting.

Also, I din’t get why he had to choose Michael as the one to shoot him in case he’d turn. I don’t recall his significance in Datu’s life or any moment that these two characters shared.

Finally, let’s move on to CJ. She’s absolutely my favorite character. I love her attitude, her fierceness, her leadership and most of all I love how much she cared about her people. I love that behind the scenes, she get to spend time with them and get to know their story. Her reliability and leadership reminds me of Hermione except this girl has got attitude.

At first, I was sort of conflicted with her choices but as the story progress, I get to see where these choices come from. She understand the current situation but she also sees the bigger picture of it.

There was even a point where I shipped her with Saul. Not ship to the point I want them to end up together in the end but I just found their dynamic really endearing. It was on those Dunbar episodes with Victor and you know, for the first time ever Saul get to take a break from all the stress about Lizzy and his friends. And CJ gets to have people to watch movies with after being alone for months. Plus their sarcastic exchange was cute.

Speaking of, I kinda wish the series showed more mundane activities. Just those quiet moments where the characters are doing the most boring stuff. Just to give audience a time to breathe from the stress of the story.

Anyway I guess that’s about it. It was a great series–the kind of series you’d think about unexpectedly in the middle of the day. And really, I was glad I found it.

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Summer ’18

Well now, it’s been a while. Stuff happened so let’s talk about them before I get preoccupied with even more stuff.

PART I: THE FUN THING ABOUT NOTHING

I went on a trip to an island somewhere in Sorsogon. I was there with some of my co-workers and we all have that understanding among ourselves about how much we needed this break away from the office. It was a few hours away from my parent’s hometown so the whole experience was new. No, it’s not the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen clearer water and finer sand. But it was definitely one of the best vacations I’ve ever had. You know why? Because that was the only vacation where I actually get to do NOTHING!

And by “nothing” I mean just staying inside the cottage and waiting until it was okay to swim under the sun.

I used to believe that in order for a getaway at the beach to be worthwhile, I had to stay in the water for as long as I can. And I would just end up extremely tanned and nothing much has changed within me. I finally understood that delightful feeling of watching the waves as I breathe the fresh air of the ocean. I finally realized, in rare moments with nature like these, how important it is to pause for a while and reflect on life. Without plans and without other places to be. It was as if I was stuck in another space and it was just me and that horizon. And everything was at peace.

PART II: SUCH FOL-DE-ROL AND FIDDLE-DEE-DEE OF COURSE IS

I also went on another musical phase. I got obsessed with Rodger’s and Hammerstein’s Cinderella (2013). I guess it all started with watching Broadway Princess Party on Youtube. The whole event was fun enough–you get to see Broadway actors singing classic Disney songs. And one of those actors was Laura Osnes. Some of her performances was this beautiful medley of Disney songs and this wonderful rendition of “I See the Light” with Zachary Levi (guy who voiced Flynn Rider from Tangled).

In my everyday experience with music, I get to listen to beautiful voices by beautiful people from beautiful songs. But there are just some voices where you’d want for more. Laura’s was one of them. And I scrambled my way through Spotify and looked for her just to satisfy my ears. And that’s when I found myself drowned in this classic tale of glass slippers and fairygodmothers and dreams. And even though Cinderella is not my favorite (part of that is her passivity towards her so-called dreams because it shall be taken care of by karma and her deus ex-fairygodmother), she has become part of my childhood. And man, the songs were catchy and magical.

PART III: CUTE NAMES LIKE HIMIKO AND EZIO

I stopped playing Skyrim. And did that make me a more productive person? Nope. It was only replaced by more video games, Tomb Raider (2013) and Assassin’s Creed II. 

I’d like to start with Assassin’s Creed II since there’s a lot to talk about in Tomb Raider (2013). My first experience with this game was back in 2014 when I got this laptop from my cousin and there was Assassin’s Creed: Revelation installed. And I’m pretty sure I mentioned a little bit about it here. Anyway, it was a fun game. The parkour was awesome and having that liberty on choosing what kind of kill you’d do for a target was an exhilarating feeling.

Let’s move on to Tomb Raider (2013). I am in love with Lara Croft’s character in this particular game. Well, she has been part of my childhood but I didn’t quite relate to her. She was just, at least for me, a badass Angelina Jolie character and nothing more.

Then this game came along and suddenly, Lara Croft was like this girl you see in school but never really know and you never really cared. And then you two got stuck in a situation, like a lab partner in Science class or something. And she turned out to be a really cool person and you two become really awesome friends. And you’re sort of torn between jealousy and attraction because she’s really hot and really badass and she has everything you do not have. You either want to make out with her or push her in the hallways just to check if she’s vulnerable to embarrassment because seriously you can’t be all that perfect what the hell, girl, there has to be a flaw!

Anyway, Tomb Raider (2013) is an awesome game. Sure, the graphics and gameplay was already good enough but the thing that I really loved about it is the actual story of how Lara came to be. She started as this selfish, curious explorer who cared more about uncovering answers than the welfare of the people around her. Which then led to consequences and she gradually changed into this human being who is determined to save her friends despite the danger that comes her way. Then again, it may be because of guilt. I mean, if I were her, I would want to save everyone knowing the fact the I was the reason they were there in the first place.

Whatever she was, it didn’t really matter. I was inspired by her determination, resourcefulness and care for other people. To be honest, I see so much of Nancy Drew in her. I guess that’s the reason why I love her.

PART IV: SHORT MENTION OF NON-EXISTENT STUFF

Now, I have been made fun of for being attracted to video game characters. First of all, I am not attracted to video game characters. Second, even if I was, which I’m not, video game characters are no different from film characters or book characters. Sure, these are non-existent characters but see, there’s this thing in philosophy about universe of discourse and y’all guys should check it.

My point here is that I have come to relate to these video game characters more than the people in real life and that makes them stood out. That makes me interested and engaged (or maybe even attracted) to them.

The Life and Lies of Max Mayfield

Now Let’s Talk About Max.

First off, I liked how the show talked about Max’s isolation as being the new kid in school. Because let me tell you, I’ve been in that kind of situation. I’ve experienced going to a new school, without a friend and without the courage of actually making one. Although, Max may probably be not as shy as I was back then, there is importance in creating relationships outside the household especially if the household is not a happy one.

But when the boys finally opened their little group to her (You know, that Halloween scene where she just literally jumped out of nowhere and poof she’s suddenly part of the team),  I felt sad for her because she didn’t really go further to becoming actual friends with them. They were just fascinated by her and nothing more. And with that, she even became more isolated being a member of this group and witnessing how a shared past is still affecting everyone but her. And the lack of information and experience about that past didn’t really help at all.

Now, the combination of Max’s look, personality and the intriguing relationship with her brother really did make an entrance. But there is also a problem with her and that problem can also be seen in a number of good films whenever a new female character is introduced. It’s the I”m-not-like-most-girls character.

Honestly, all throughout the history of storytelling there’s this one girl who is the opposite of the stereotypical girls you see in class. Which elevates her status from everyone who are girls. And I hate it. So much. You know why? Because growing up, I pushed myself to be that kind of girl.

If I can give you an outline of the character choices that I made when I was thirteen, I specifically avoided the path that lead to hair, make-up, fashion and boys. I closed the opportunities of creating friendships with other girls who are not like me because I thought of them as lame and shallow. I isolated myself from them because I thought I was an interesting and special individual which made me think I was better than them. Because that is what I came up with from reading and watching and listening to the stories about girls.

Looking back I wished I hadn’t been that stuck up. Like holy shit if I had been friends with girls who are experts on hair, I would have grown up knowing how to take care of it. I would have looked flawless in every place I went to.  If I had been friends with girls who are experts on make-up, I wouldn’t have paid 500 – 1000 pesos for fixing my face in a one time event. I would have done it myself. If I had been friends with girls who are experts in fashion, I wouldn’t have been that embarrassed showing my high school photos. I would have looked divine in every photo that I had. If I had been friends with girls who are experts on boys, who knows, maybe they’ve already figured out how boys actually are and we all would have warned each other about abusive and toxic relationships?

Now I am not saying that the things that I grown to love is invalid. That what I am now is a facade. I just wish that I hadn’t limited myself from exploring stuff that can actually be useful in the future. I wish I didn’t have to separate myself from other girls so I can feel good about my identity.

I hated how she was also involved in love triangles when she only wanted to have friends. It sucks because now everyone is so mean to her and she didn’t even do anything. Honestly, I hate to be an old lady here but aren’t they a little bit too young to have these serious encounters with love? I mean, having love interests are cute but wouldn’t it be cuter if they don’t dwell on it too much?

Since the show has this theme on friendship, I kinda wished that everyone is actually friends with each other. And that boys and girls can be friends and can hang out without this dumbass idea that at some point they are bound to fall in love with each other. Because it creates this giant wall between boys and girls especially at that age. I do wish that shows stop doing that.

Max’s “redeeming moment” was also unsatisfying. It doesn’t prove any significance on her character. It didn’t put weight on defeating the major villain of the show. It’s just another addition to her “cool” personality. I do not also believe that Billy would eventually stop tormenting Max after being sedated by her. Judging from his character I think he’d bully her even more. I just wish the siblings had that moment of understanding of how similar they are with each other and how much they share a common enemy (may it be a Demagorgon or their abusive father).

I love Max. I really do. I just think that the show didn’t love her the same way I did. Looking forward to Season 3 for justice.

Talking About Stranger Things

Stranger Things has brought together this one big community of people who are nostalgic enough to celebrate the pop-culture references from the 70s and 80s. I belong to that community. But besides that, Stranger Things reminded me so much of the make-believe stories that I played with my sister when I was kid.

Stranger Things is the whole childhood that I imagined and pretended but never had.

Now that the second season has been released, sparks among the audiences have lit up once again like Christmas lights *wink*. I’ve written a few notes after watching it and I will now present the things that I did and did not like about it.

First of all, I did love how Mike has not moved on from Eleven’s disappearance. I love that he still has fun with his friends but at the end of the day, he longs for her presence. His sense of ownership to the group when Max started hanging out with them was good but I kinda wish the show figured a way to create this resolution between Mike and Max; probably a scene of Mike finally accepting that Max is another individual and he finally opens those closed doors making room for new friends without having to replace Eleven.

By the way I have a lot to say about the new character Max but I will have to put her on a separate entry.

Steve and Nancy’s break-up was unclear so the moment Nancy and Jonathan had a thing, it was confusing for me if she cheated on Steve or not. Well, the guilty look Nancy gave him was probably the answer I was looking for but still, there was no closure on that break up. I mean, if they were going to give that closure on the next season, they should have showed that Steve and Nancy weren’t officially over. That would make the whole thing intriguing since that would make Nancy and Jonathan’s relationship an affair.

Oh and Steve, I knew he was a cinnamon roll right from the moment he appeared on that show. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. And I have ever been so proud of him for becoming this mature, thoughtful and reliable babysitter as the season progressed.

I have nothing more to say about the other characters because my thoughts are really centered on Max right now. Yes, I just really have a lot of thoughts about that girl that I am now cutting this whole review to move on to my next entry.

 

Ma Lea

There was one time when I was playing a Call of Duty game which was set in World War 2. At that time I had played the game numerous of times so I decided to turn off the background music since I did not need to immerse myself fully. Instead, I decided to play the Lea Salonga Playlist that I made on my Spotify account. And the most beautiful thing happened!

There I was, barely holding on to my dear life. My health depletes in every second I fight for my survival with my comrades dying and my cries of despair are drowned by the canons flying above me. Amidst all these maddening chaos, Lea Salonga’s rendition of the old Filipino lullaby, Sa Ugoy ng Duyan started playing in the background. If you don’t know what this song is about, it is about a child longing for the song his/her mother used to sing to him/her at night. You can just imagine how relevant this song is to the scene where soldiers, who were young children once, are far away from their homes and in the middle of a fucking war. And as much as it’s thrilling and entertaining to play, it is also heartbreaking with her version so quiet and raw and only accompanied by the plucking of a guitar . Wow, all these thoughts just because of a Lea Salonga playlist.

After that, I suddenly started listening to my Lea Salonga playlist more often. Too often that I worry I might grew tired of it. But I just can’t stop. I don’t know much about the technicalities of singing, so I’ll probably describe Lea’s voice in the points of view as a listener.

She definitely knows how to turn your day around when you’re incredibly stressed or sad or bored. There has been many many instances when I have this slight panic at work, usually when the client gets a little bit more demanding than usual, and the Lea playlist would make everything calm and she gives you this promise that everything is going to be okay and it does, eventually.

Her Christmas album is my favorite because it made me celebrate Christmas in the middle of July. In it, she has the best speaking tracks I’ve ever heard. You know when you listen to an album and it’s got some unnecessary tracks where the artist just say irrelevant stuff just to fill the album? And you’re like, “Bro, why are you giving me this shit? I don’t need this. I listened to your album because I wanted to hear your singing voice, not this dumb mumbles,” But then you’ve got Lea Salonga talking in her Christmas album and you just fucking shed a tear because she sounded so loving and so nice and she sounded like mom from a Disney film and gah I love her. There is this one track there where she says something like, “Come on, sweetie. Wake up. Time to open your presents,” OMYGOD for a moment you’d expect to have presents for you to open.

I guess the most inspiring thing about her is that she made her passion and talent her life. She understands how good she is and she used every fiber of it and made her way to where she is right now. I mean if that isn’t life goals, I don’t know what is.

I love her too much that I get giddy everytime I see her on twitter. And then there are beautiful moments when she’d have a conversation with the genius Lin-Manuel Miranda, the guy who created Hamilton. I mean, guys just make a collab already. They could like, make a song about a houseplant, I wouldn’t care. I would be so down to it. I would listen to it all day. I would make it my ringtone. Heck, I would lull my future child to sleep with it.

Sometimes I kinda wish they’re my parents. Not as replacements of my own because my mom and dad are the coolest and I wouldn’t trade them for the world but just as my second mom and dad. I mean I know they both have families of their own and stuff but can you just imagine Lin as your dad and Lea as you mom? I can dream, can I?

She’s just everywhere in my life right now and I want to protect this woman at all cost.

Go Set A Wat–just happened?

Crying over a book is hard because you can’t hug a book. The physical qualities of a book doesn’t have that warmth and tenderness that you long for. Either a book is too small or too hard or too thin or too edgy for your embrace that it will never substitute the comfort of a hug. So you awkwardly put the book on your chest and lay on your bed, crying as your heart gets broken to pieces because of that same bloody book that you can’t even hug.

Saturday, I spent my money for this book that costed more that my regular budget because it was the sequel of one of my favorite books. Go Set A Watchman by Harper Lee had just been published last year and everyone was excited. I’m not really a fan of hard bound because they’re too solid and too perfect and it doesn’t create those cute little wrinkles when you’ve read it a couple of times so I waited for the paperback and here we are.

Her first book (at least the first one to get published), To Kill A Mockingbird, has been my favorite not only because it was so familiar to my childhood years but it also served as a moral compass from the time I was 16. I even wanted to make “Atticus” as a second name for my future son and “Scout” as a nickname for my future daughter. That is how much I love that book. It taught me a lot about courage and prejudice and how people understood and believed different things. And that in order to understand those differences, we have to consider things from their point of view. And believe me, it changed how I saw the world.

Now, years after reading that beautiful book, a sequel was published. Did I mention that Harper Lee wrote Go Set A Watchman before To Kill A Mockingbird? But her editor thought it was not ready for publication to which she also agreed. So she wrote another story which she based from it and is now a renowned classic. Let’s move on.

Go Set A Watchman is about Scout, now called with her full name Jean Louise and is 26 years old coming home to Maycomb from New York for a two-week vacation. This is the thing I love about sequels – the nostalgia you feel for a place you have never even been to. We all understand how Maycomb feels like even if no Maycomb County is the same in the mind of every reader. But damn it we all know what it feels like.

I believe Jean Louise grew up to be a fine young lady. I love how she still has that Scout attitude in her. She’s definitely the woman I imagined Scout would grow up to be. She speaks her mind and I love how she tells Henry, her boyfriend, straight up that she’s not ready to marry anyone. Speaking of Henry, I’m a little sad Scout didn’t end up with Dill. But I guess Harper Lee was just telling the reality of childhood sweethearts. Sometimes you just don’t end up with the kid you proposed to at the school playground. And who the hell is Henry anyway? I never heard of a Henry. And it’s really annoying everytime he whines about Scout not marrying him and shit. Like leave her alone. But I guess Scout likes him in her own way so whatever.

Aunt Alexandra is back bitching again. Omygod she’s like every young person’s worst nightmare. She’s the epitome of every old fashioned grumpy old woman who had this superiority complex and is always disappointed with the “kids these days”. But I’d give her credit for staying to take care of Atticus who is now 72 and has an arthritis. I still picture him the same though.

And if you’re wondering where the hell is Calpurnia in all these when Atticus needs her most? Well, she’s old and retired. She’s back in her home resting. There’s also another reason why she left the Finches.

Jem died.

Yes bitches Jeremy Atticus Finch fucking dies. And you know the awful thing about that aside from the fact that he’s well…dead, is that there no further talk about what really happened except he got a sudden heart attack. Like I need details!!! Plus the book mentioned it in a really casual way. Kinda like, “After the sudden death of Jem, Calpurnia decided to move back to her hometown blah blah blah…”

Wait what?

Words so quick you almost don’t catch it. You read it again and you still could not absorb it. You read it one more time and you go, “Harper Lee, bless you soul but you sadistic b–” I can’t really call an old woman who just died that word.

That was the biggest twist really. My god. I was imagining Jem to grow up like Atticus but now he’s rotting in his grave. And it really hits you how much things change when someone you know dies. Like Maycomb suddenly stops feeling like Maycomb. It’s a Jem-less Maycomb County now so it’s not Maycomb anymore so yeah.

But I’ve gotten over from Jem. Like I already accepted the fact that he won’t be in the novel so I think we should move on.

So basically the story is about Scout finding out that Atticus has been having this series of meetings with racist white people where they talk about segregation and separating Negroes to white people. And Scout got so disgusted by it that she literally throws up.

And then she realizes why Calpurnia was being cold to her when she visited her. And now she gets really confused and alone because everybody in Maycomb is okay with it.

And then she has this really heartbreaking confrontation with her dad. She was like screaming at him and telling him that the one person she trusted and looked up to betrayed her and stuff. Atticus was explaining to her that Negroes are not ready to have civil rights and they are growing in numbers and they aren’t educated yet and shit. And Scout went on just screaming awful things to him.

It was really awful. I, myself also felt the betrayal because I adored Atticus for being the wise father that he is or was or maybe still is. And then when Uncle Jack smack down slapped the shit out of the Jean Louise, we all realized the deal with this book–That Atticus is not some god we should worship. He’s a flawed human being too. I’m not siding with him but no one really goes to extremes. He’s not good and he’s not bad either. He’s a human being. It’s time to grow up now and let go. This is not a childhood story anymore.

There will be moments in our lives when our heroes would fail us. And that’s one big character development for everyone because we are finally separated from them. We grew up and we won’t be needing their approval anymore and we can all live our own lives guided by our own beliefs and principles outside the influence of our heroes. You are now your own watchman.

Even if I love To Kill A Mockingbird more, I believe this book is important because, aside from it costing a LOT, it’s quite relevant to my life right now.

Wild Thoughts

Today I watched the film Into the Wild directed by Sean Penn and I kinda wished I didn’t especially at a time like this. As you all know, in less than a week, I’ll be graduating. Yey?

Remember the time I was having this drama in my life and said school made everything bearable? Well, there’s another thing why I don’t think I’m ready enough to leave it–School has got these rules and requirements that needed fulfillment and no matter how much I complain about them, these things give me comfort.

There is something contenting about the idea of just following orders. You know, instead of actually having the freedom of making your own rules and dealing with your own shit like any adult would do. At least, that’s what I think adults do after they graduate. Well, unless you’re super rich then congratulations.

I’ve been thinking about my future lately and it terrifies me to be honest. I mean, would I even get a good job considering how much they say the competition is in the industry?Would I even survive the cruel life they say in the city? Would I even fulfill the promises I made to myself for my family? Would I still have the days when I can walk around and reflect on my life? Would I still be happy?

There are thousands of more questions but I’ll probably drift away from my topic if I list them down. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about these things lately before I sleep at night. And now as I think  about the film Into the Wild, it made me question about my life choices even more.

TRIGGER WARNING. The following ideas may contain thoughts on SUICIDE.

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