I Work?

Here’s the thing, the night after your graduation, despite of what you posted on Twitter, you don’t really have that famous “Now what?” moment. Nope. Basically you’re just pretty tired from standing on heels for hours to have an existential moment. And no, you don’t even have it the next morning because you’ll be too busy planning about that vacation trip with your friends.

You don’t think about it once you get back from that trip because you’ll be busy of the photos that’s been tagged to you on social media. And even if you still give it another week, you won’t have that existential moment because you’ll be wasting you days away on the internet and TV Series. Heck, you’ll be so hooked on the days of doing nothing that you won’t be able to finish even just one chapter of a book.

Plus, you won’t have the slightest urge to have a glimpse of the outside because of the abnormal heat of the summer. Your room is your safe haven and you only go out to eat and clean yourself (and clean the house if your mom screams at you).

But it’s been weeks and now I’m starting to feel some anxiety over what happens next. Clearly I have no idea what to do and what I want to and where I want to do the thing that I’m supposed to do. I am clueless and I am unemployed. I mean I did try to send letters to some companies and it’s a good start but I can’t help but feel weirdly terrified by what is to come. Now that’s your ultimate “Now what?” moment.

But I guess it’s a bit too late to keep talking about that because today is my second day of my first job. Funny because when you think about it, this blog account can sometimes feel so prophetic that for a lot of times it has foreshadowed things from the past events of my life. Although, it can be really frustrating at times because you don’t really know what is it until it actually happens.

So where was I?

To be honest, I was picturing myself working my ass off to sustain my livelihood in the big city. But then I realized that vision is a bit costly. That’s why I chose to stay for awhile so I could help around the house and save some money for whatever future I decide to be in. Besides, I don’t think I’m ready to leave the city and my long, peaceful rides to get there.

The animation studio that I am currently working in is just a short walk away from the university I went to. It’s just a small, air-conditioned room with one PC unit for each employee but the environment feels so familiar because it’s like a combination of the our lab and the office that I worked in as a student assistant.

I can’t say much right now because there’s a lot to process. Not just in the culture and system inside the office but just the fact that I have an actual job. And still, I refuse to consider myself as an adult.

Alsom the decrease of enthusiasm in reading and writing is really starting to terrify me.

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