I don’t have anything new to talk about. I was planning on making a review on The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde (it involved weird affections towards a friend, overly dramatic characters, betrayal and quotes to think about from a character who is as bitter as a young Holden Caulfield) but I am too lazy to have some further research for that review.
I found something from my past though that is quite…scandalous? And since we are already talking about beauty and obsession, I think this thing that I will be showing you is going to be relatable.
This is a letter that I wrote to an actor named Logan Lerman back in 2011(?) I believe this was the time I was basked in the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan to which Logan played as Percy in the movie adaptation. I don’t remember why the did I think of writing this creepy and really pathetic appeal to someone who doesn’t even know my existence. But then again, I already made entry about this obsession so I guess you’ll have a clue on the amount of love I was willing to give to this boy.
Right now, I just laugh about it but if I could just be given the chance to go back in time to when I was writing this, I would grab the fucking paper and shove it to my 14 year-old mouth just to give her an idea on how disgraceful she’s being.
And if you’re wondering what the fuck did I write, read on. But be warned, I’m already cringing while typing it.
I’m not really the kind of girl who’s really desperate on meeting you or just simply seeing you. Because I’m not really expecting it would happen. I mean, look at us! We’re…we’re different. You’re a celebrity. I’m not. You’re rich, I’m not. You’re beautiful, I’m not. It just doesn’t make any sense in meeting you. But you’re the realest crush I had since I started having one. It’s just, it doesn’t seem right. I don’t know, I love you, but I don’t think you even notice me. Unfortunately, I don’t think you even know me. And that’s another thing we don’t deserve each other because you don’t even know me. No, not even close.
I’m so stupid on falling for you. It’s just that I can’t resist you. You’re so…so lovable that any girl would never stop spending time with you. I hope you read this letter. Which is another thing why we’re not meant for each other. I mean, who would ever want a girl who’s penmanship is as bad as mine.
Oh Logan, if only you knew. How hard it is to fall in love with you. You’re so far away. I don’t even know if I could ever reach you. I really hope you read this letter. This contains everything I feel about you, this relationship. But I know you can’t read this letter. But if you want to I’ll read this for you, come here… (OMYGOD I can’t believe this bitch just gave her address) I’ll hope find me.
I love you.
Holy shit this is just too gross. But for the record, this kid’s got a big heart and I forgive her for that. And clearly, she’s still years behind the idea of heartbreak.