From Puke and Headache

I never had the chance to say something of sense because last night everything was really fuzzy and weird and my thoughts didn’t match my words anymore. So I guess this is where I should organize everything I wanted to say before you embark your journey towards pure adulthood.

1.

That guy is an asshole. He’s not worth your time plus you don’t deserve to be treated like you’re some disposable thing that he gets mad at whenever you fail to function. You are a precious human being who deserves someone who will treat you with respect and with great love. I have no idea when that person is going to come to your life but for now, you have a great big future ahead of you and that is something we can all look forward to. You surpassed the sleepless hours of work and the torturous anticipation of grades and I salute you for that.

2.

Your honesty with your feelings is something I admire about you alongside your achievements. Despite my words of bitterness and everyday distress against your relationship, I can’t help but feel protective over the both of you. You’re the reality that I will never have. You’re the everyday daydreams and the things the could have been but never were. Just because there are things in my life that can never be, that doesn’t mean that yours will be as cold and as hopeless. That’s why, I want you to know that I’ll always have your back. Both of you.

And right now, as I start to drift off to sleep because of the shitty hangover I had from last night in this very room where, for the first time, I poured everything out without fear or second thoughts to the few people I trust most, I start to wake up from the fantasy I’ve been living in for the past couple of months.

Thank you and goodluck.

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