Mamay

My grandmother stayed over for almost 2 weeks and a few days ago my mom asked me to accompany her to the terminal as she was going back to her place. While we were on our way, I looked at her and I couldn’t help but feel a little bit of sadness because my grandfather is not there to be with her.

It was a weird feeling because for years, ever since my grandfather had this heart disease and couldn’t bear to travel anymore (in which he eventually passed away because of it), my grandmother has been travelling alone. Whether it may be a 5-hour trip to our mom’s place or a 9-hour trip to her other children’s place. And that was a fucking routine that I never thought much of.

And that ride I had with her, was this sudden burst of reality reminding me that I’ve gotten used to my grandmother’s solitude. I might not look like crying but I knew I was just tasting the saltiness of my gums. Looking at her vacant eyes,  I suddenly realized, that I never saw my grandmother cry. Not even when my grandfather died. She’s this soft spoken lady and there are times that I get to catch her staring blankly at a distance.

And I love her as much as I loved my grandfather.

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