I have been very busy with school these past few days and despite that I’m trying really hard not to break the chain. I’ve been encouraging myself to read more because I realized, for the past year, I haven’t been reading enough. Personally, I feel bad about it because sometimes I think that reading becomes a responsibility once you started to get really interested in books and when | start to come up with excuses just so I could do other stuff that are more convenient than reading (internet, watching movies, hanging out with friends), a voice speaks in my mind telling me, “You had one job.”
Yes, I had one job and I sort of blew it. And I somehow feel guilty because reading is something that I want to want to do. Let me explain further. I’m not much of a reader. I don’t center my life to just the habit of reading. I don’t read all the books I buy. Heavens, no, but I do keep books even if I haven’t read it. I used to hate myself for that. But then again, one of the worst feelings in world is forcing yourself to read something when you’re not really in mood to. Also, it’s okay to not want to read and it’s okay if you prefer the movie than the book. I feel bad for some people who are not really into reading and they get to be judged because of that.
I am obsessed in arranging them in shelves and admiring them afterwards. And I feel the emptiness whenever I let other people borrow my books even if I trust those people with all my heart. I feel like I’m the mother of these things and I feel very protective over them and I am lost without them.