It has been a week of this madness and right now I’m just grateful that I haven’t given up yet. My family and friends had given me reasons not to. I have been just so tired and I just wanted to keep sleeping and shit. For a moment there I wanted to stop whatever I should be doing and just let myself float and drift to where fate would take me without even trying to know which direction I was going. I’ve been relying on the phrase “go with the flow” too much that I realized I really wasn’t living my life and that i didn’t really gave much thought on the consequences of my actions.
I wasn’t posting blog entries anymore. I gave up a lot of artworks. I wasn’t doing my best in school. Obligations are forgotten. Movies unwatched and books unread. Everyday was a series of zombified unproductive activities. It’s like i was living because i was forced to. And i’m not really happy with it.
And that’s when i realize that i should take a step back and realize what a waste my life will be if keep on doing nothing. I have to get up and keep moving.This universe will be hard to live in but I have to keep on fighting. There will be a lot of disappointments along the way but I think I can handle it. It’s gonna be a lot scarier than what it is right now but I can’t seal myself from reality and pretend that I was in some parallel universe fighting daleks, demons, orcs, walkers and death eaters. I’m gonna do my responsibities and at the same time be happy of what i’m doing.
Just like what my friend and I have agreed on —that one day, we’re gonna lay down on those graves with smiles on our faces because we have lived our lives and achieve, not technically success, but more of contentment, in a way that we didn’t disappoint those people who counted on us right from the very start.
Booyah my life is gonna be awesome, just you wait.