Lying on the same bed. Listening to the same song. And thinking about the same thing four years ago. so weird and coincidental. Yet, so full of feelings and thoughts that makes me think about all the shitty things I did. All those shitty reasons I had. The shitty choices I made. All those negative dispositions I chose to believe because I’ve always thought of it as a sort of escape from all the things that could hurt me. Because I’m scared of being hurt. And so the alternative would be hurting other people. Bequeathing all the painful experiences to the person next to me.
And that makes me a really big coward.


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