I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of these promises to myself that I can’t keep. I’ve had enough of these feelings that I try to stop because they’re not right. I’ve had enough of these considerations about things that would not last long. I’m really getting tired of these things. I’m tired of trying!
I give up. It’s over. I screwed up. I’m shutting the doors now. It’s so much easier when you were just a normal enthusiast, being fascinated with the world of sci-fi and alternative rock music and classic movies. When you were just reading books and watching movies and not giving a fuck on whatever the other people are thinking or saying. When you don’t have to go out and spend money for pointless satisfactions. When you don’t have to exhaust yourself for walking miles and miles. When you don’t have talk things out. WHEN EVERYTHING YOU DO IS FOR YOU OWN PERSONAL GAIN and if something wrong happens to you, you won’t feel bad at all because there’s no one else to blame but yourself. and I’m okay with that.
I just really don’t care anymore. About them, about the things I’ve done to them, about the things I was supposed to remember, about the things I’m willing to let go.
I hate you all.