Sometimes I form virtual charts on my mind and try to place myself which category I would befall to what type of person I might be. I’m having difficulties on doing it.
Let me tell you a story:
A long time ago, I felt a certain change of treatment towards a close friend. I do not know why. Well, I’ve had some hunch, but those hunches were a bit…terrible. I guess it started when I got really mad at her and those feelings didn’t go away even if some days have already passed. I’m not sure how or why it happened. I think I held on those grudges too much and it stuck there. I guess I discovered what she really was and I didn’t like it. And after that, I don’t feel like hanging out with her anymore because of the way I see her now. And we weren’t friends anymore. I know It’s bad and if I’m a true friend I should stick with her no matter what her flaws are.
But I guess, I’m not a true friend. In fact, I’m not even worthy to be called a “friend”. And I hate those people who still have hopes on me because they’ll just get disappointed.
So I’m sorry. To the people who care for me and are close to me right now. I’m afraid some history is going to repeat itself because of some selfish, immature motives.
and Fuck You to whoever’s reading this and judging me right now.
because it ain’t easy.