That Forevermore Finale Night

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There’s more of us but you know, the backseat’s just way more fun. Also, before all that fun road trip we had, we needed to push our asses off just to start that fucking car because the battery died right in the middle of the highway.

Yeah and I wondered where we found our strength because most of us didn’t eat dinner that night because of the summertime student financial crisis that shall not end until the start of June. Y’all should have seen us jump for joy and wave our hands and scream in delight when we heard that beautiful sound of ignition. And yes, we were still in the middle of that highway and people were looking at us.

But nobody gave two shits about it, we went straight to our friend’s place and it’s been a while since I’ve seen these people all together. Well in the first few hours, there were dull moments but then I realize that’s one of the ultimate challenges of being friends with people: Understanding that there’s gonna be dull moments and that you have to put as much faith as you can on those people and not leave them behind just because they’re not as fun as they used to. Because your friends are more than that. At least that’s what I think.

So as the night turned to morning, we came up with ridiculous ways to pass time. I won’t tell you about the details but they were weird. And just when I thought it’s gonna be that kind of night, it wasn’t. People started talking about serious stuff. More serious than ever. It was weird because they were these types of friends that don’t talk about this stuff. And then suddenly pasts were brought up and futures were predicted and the present was the hot topic of that night.

I didn’t say much because I wasn’t really that comfortable having that kind of conversation with a large number of listeners. Although I am comfortable talking to them individually, it just feels different talking to a crowd. So all I did was goof around to avoid the awkwardness. But then those involuntary funny side comments died down until were in a more sensitive and real talks. Some were tearing up. Some were using words I’ve never heard before. Some were silent but thoughtful. It was a whole different atmosphere that I never imagined being with the people I was with last night.

But I think we kinda needed them. Those talks, I mean. Even though you might agree that it was all too cheesy and awkward, I feel like there are words that are deserved to be heard. There are words that we needed to liberate instead of them being a part of the thoughts inside our heads or a part of a conversation behind a person’s back. All we needed was to face that fear of being judged as cheesy and lame because we thought we were too cool to say those words.

And I think we did a pretty good job on talking about them.

One thing I admire about us is despite of the number of issues that we all avoid talking about, we remained cool and we still plan things out like nothing was wrong. And we did talk about it, we still remained cool and we still plan things out like nothing was resolved. I’m not saying that there weren’t changes, but we all have this beautiful talent of shoving away the big issue and remaining as we are.

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Well I need to stop. This is getting too cheesy.

Walk, walk fashion baby. Work it. Move that bitch crazy

It was unnerving spending your entire day literally from the moment you wake up until the moment you lie down on that sleeping bag in the same air-conditioned and UV radiated environment where people just sit and work all day. And conversations were minimal because of earphones plugged in our ears and the deadline hovered over our heads.

I couldn’t stand staying in that place for a long time. And I desperately need breaks away from that computer. Away from that lab. Away from that building. Away from that institution. I’m not saying that I hated the work because I loved it. I’m not even complaining about our work area because it’s well-ventilated enough against the summer heat and we have everything we needed there. It’s just that sometimes being that still for the longest time kinda drains my energy and it might affect my future work progress.

So every 6pm – 7pm ( because that’s the ideal break hours), I’d go out and walk around the city. I avoid inviting people because I kinda wanted to do it alone. I mean, walking at that precise time and place is perfect for solitude. Well, even if I did invited people, I don’t think they’d want to spend the remaining amount of time sweating and tiring yourself around the dirty and noisy streets instead of working to meet the deadline.

I love walking. Especially in urban streets. I guess, when you walk around a city, you don’t really realize how far your walk would be and that makes it less tiring. Everyday, even if you pass the same route, it always feels different. To be honest, I don’t really roam around to observe. I just walk to give myself time to reflect. And with walking, I can pretend I’m actually going someplace important but really I’m just thinking about my life. Because if you stay still and stare blankly into space you’d look like a total nutcase. Also, I cannot afford going to thinking places like coffee shops or restaurants.

It feels even better when you have your music plugged in. It’s a way to avoid awkwardness with yourself and having random conversations with the people you come across with. Now that I’ve mention it, I think its about time that I should start writing about my music these days since a lot of people recommended new artists and it kinda changed my perspective on things.

Rendering Completed?

One thing that I regret doing this summer is not keeping a journal with me during the summer camp. Yes, it has finally ended and I’m back home again. My body clock has still not recovered yet but I’ll deal with that later. Anyway, a lot of things that happened there were all worth writing about and it was stupid of me for letting go of the inspiration by not bringing a journal with me. But then again, the fact that there were days I didn’t take a bath proves that I don’t really have that much time to write.

I may talk about some of them in the future but for now, I need more sleep so I’m just gonna cut to chase. It was a success and it truly was stressful and there even came a point where we almost lost hope and we thought we couldn’t finish it. But we did. And I’m really proud of my production team and everyone else because I saw them put great effort in making the films possible.

There were rough days and people were too hot headed and they were bitchin’ each other because of teammate issues and deadlines and troubleshooting problems to deal with but we kinda learned to let them go and turn them into lessons instead of just bad memories. Plus I got to have late night talks with a lot of people.

Also the absence of connection with the outside world (because we only go home on Sundays and the internet connections were kinda faulty and you don’t really have much time to plan things out for other stuff) made me reflect on my life.

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Research and Development

For the first time, I had fun going far places to research. The summer camp has started and we already spent a night at school. In here, we were divided into groups and then we’d create animated short films and we had to do it in just 2 months.

Part of developing a story is researching all about it. So our group went to go a 2 hour-ride all the way to Buhi because that’s where the story was about.

We spent the whole afternoon circling the famous lake and all the places we passed by were marvelous.

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Part of my plan on going to Buhi was to have a sketchwalk. At first it was really fun because the place was inspiring but later on, because of the heat and the hike we were on, there was just too many things to do and I was not in the state of wanting to sit and draw.

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Maybe, next time.

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I can’t find a good photo but I just have to say that reaching the rock we were sitting at was not easy. We had to climb rock formations. And it was not just a tiring task, it was also really scary because some of the rocks there were really steep and at first glance you’d think that climbing it was impossible unless you’re spiderman.

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Then again, maybe at that moment, we became spiderman. Plus, we had these two kids who guided us on where to step and where to go.

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We were all exhausted but the day has not yet ended. We went to the docks and rented a boat that would take us to the other side of the lake. The lake was really massive so the ride took like 10 mins.

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Also, this is my trying-to-look-excited-but-really-terrified-because-oh-my-god-this-boat-is-so-uncontrollable-and-any-moment-now-we-could-all-go-struggling-for-dear-life-in-the-water. Kinda like that.

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I am not really a big fan of boat riding. It gives me anxiety because if you haven’t noticed it yet, the boat is a really sensitive mode of transportation. The slightest movement of your body causes it rock and tilt and almost throw out and what the fuck.

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But I survived. We reached the other side but we had to walk for like 20mins to reach the twin waterfalls. I can hear my feet screaming at me every step I take.

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I wasn’t able to see this up close because I don’t want my pants to get wet.

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Alas, the water reached my knees so you got what happened. After that we went to a really nice place by the lake. We talked about politics in these ruins.

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And then we ate in a place not far from there.

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And then we went home. My body is still aching up until now but it sure was fun.

God I hope this film is a success. Photos are not mine.

The Purely Written Medium

Daily Post: It’s a Text, Text, Text, Text World

“Let’s talk about this in person.”

Probably it’s because it’s more convenient to talk in person without typing shit and all that but can’t we talk here? Right now? I mean, don’t you think that it reduces the excitement and the burst of emotions if we still wait for another day that we can personally meet and talk about it? Think about it, there is a correlation between the length of time before you talk about a juicy subject and the intensity of wanting to talk about it.

It might not be true to everyone, but in my experience of real talks and late-night conversations it’s not arguable.

But in my world, the people I’ve talked to usually prefer talking in person because according to them, it’s easier to say the things that they wanted to say. That’s why, I think, they risk that perfect moment for a good conversation and save it for another day when they can tell me in person. And that is how they reach out to me.

Well, I think that I have a different view regarding this situation. You see, I tend to talk more in online messages than in real life. I don’t know if it’s because chatting requires a lot of activities like typing and thinking and revising some shit if it sounds off or because I’m just too awkward to say something to someone after a long shit I just heard from them in person.

To be honest, I prefer the written medium when it comes to reaching out because I can organize what I needed to say. I’m more confident and the face of who you’re talking to doesn’t distract you. Plus, I don’t need to panic and it’s gives me time to think what I really want to say. I still think it’s as genuine as it is when you personally say it even if it’s been edited out because I know that it came from my heart and that’s how exactly I want to say it.

Lonely Hearts

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I was never at all interested at this anime the first time I saw the art style. I was never a fan of unrealistic hairstyles and really big eyes with too much light reflected on it. Their school uniform looked really uninviting and I thought they were students of a magic school and I thought the plot was all about student adventures but with powers where they kill off shit and I am not ready for that kind of anime.

When I asked for my friend to give me a good, light-hearted anime, I did not really understand why he’d given me this and told me that this is his favorite. Compared to the past animes I’ve watched (I was about to enumerate them but then I had trouble remembering the titles because damn those titles are long), this one looked pretty dark.

But as first impressions would have it, I was, again, wrong.

I’ve come to love the main characters because of their bizzare and intriguing yet realistic commentaries on the society. This show opened the doors for the audience to the themes that are rarely talked about like the isolation oneself in a group when everyone thinks that we all belong. They represent all the loners out there who have a different way of conquering the battlefield of socializing. It might be depressing but that’s how it is and that is how they have survived life.

To be honest, I relate so much on them (seriously, I do). There was a point in my life where I felt the suffocating feeling of loneliness despite being inside a circle of friends. I can’t say that they were horrible friends because they were nicest friends you can have especially when you’ve been alone for quite a while. And yet, I felt like I was in a different environment and it was so hard to adjust that it came to the point where I almost don’t feel like going to school.

I never talked to anyone about that situation afraid of making everyone think that I was ungrateful and that I chose people too much. And I think what everyone doesn’t understand is that sometimes, when it comes to the idea of belonging somewhere, it’s not really about having friends. And it’s sad that they keep forcing loners to make friends when the truth is they don’t really feel like it.

The media has always portrayed that surrounding yourself to people is the happiest thing to do. But sometimes you just feel like staring off to distance and just minding your own business. I don’t experience that kind of situation anymore especially now that I have proper friends but looking back at that, I know that there are people who still feels that way. And all I’ve got to say to them is fuck those people who says what’s best for you and do shit your own way.

I know that whatever that way is, it might not even work, but you know mistake’s good. God, I suck at giving advice.

Anyway, I got carried away again, I almost forgot I was reviewing a show. Going back, there may be unnecessary characters and some things that were left ambiguous (like the fact that they didn’t talk about that fateful accident) but you know, I think that there are things in the universe that must be left unanswered so I’m satisfied, I guess.

The teacher’s (I forgot her name) character was funny and I like the running gag about her age and how she’s single and all that. I can continue talking about the characters but I seriously forgot their names and I’m too lazy to look it up.

But y’all should watch it just to give y’all different perspective.