Art Journal #10: Flame Yo

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I’ve moved passed the airbrushes and tried out a harder and rougher texture. I was really happy with the result! Thank god I saved the brushes I used. I will experiment more until I’m satisfied with the look. The key for controlling the colors is a chiseled eraser which is a default brush in Photoshop. Another development here are the highlights. This is why my past pieces looked dull and dark.

I guess one thing I didn’t really like are the thick outlines (I’ve been trying line arts for a while now and I still have a long way to go!). Don’t get me wrong I’ve seen pieces with outlines but I still have to figure out how they work.

That’s about it. I’ll see you on the next piece!

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6 Months

I just want to stop by and talk about work. I just realized I don’t really talk about my job much because I don’t think it’s…polite? proper? I don’t know, when you’re putting stuff out there in the internet, there are specific things that you avoid talking about. Things that may affect your relationships, your career and even your future. Also, there isn’t really much to talk about because…I don’t talk about the lectures that I listened to when I was still at school. It’s the same like that.

But something really divine happened. Nope, it’s not a promotion or an increase or anything like that. I just finished a 3D-animated video that explains how a certain machine works. I can’t tell you the details involving it but there’s a lot of things I can tell you about how it was like working on it for more than half a year. Yep, it’s one of the longest project I’ve ever had in my career.

At first, I was genuinely excited. I’ve had 3D projects before and they’ve all been fun and fulfilling. So at the beginning of August 2017, I was happily making assets and trying out different lights for the scene. There were revisions regarding the placements and the models but it was okay. It was part of my job. Until halfway through the animation process and the revisions started to go on a different path. It turns out that I failed to really grasp what my client envisioned. The final output was starting to get blurry. And the deadline was getting further and further away from what we had all expected. What everyone had expected of me.

Christmas and New Year came and went, I was still fixing a lot of things. I welcomed 2018 with more frustrations. I wasn’t able to help in other projects because I was stuck with this one. It wasn’t even supposed to be difficult. When you look at it in an animator’s point of view, it’s really just a simple 1-minute clip. The characters were simple stick figures, the cameras were placed in just one angle and the simulations were minimal. It wasn’t supposed to take this long.

That was when I started doubting myself. Maybe I wasn’t really that good. I never dreamed of becoming the best. But I sure as hell never wanted to be the worst. But that’s what it felt like. It felt like I failed my client, my boss and myself. Even if they were nice and patient enough to point out the stuff that needed fixing, there were voices in my head that weighed me down. Why do I keep making mistakes? Why do I miss the important details? Why am I taking so slow? And I started to compare myself to everyone else as they finish one project after another. Sure, it’s really about the quality over quantity but holy shit every output they produce were so good that I cannot even look at my own work anymore. And I started to think about how we all started the same way and how much everyone else has achieved and learned. What did I learn from the past year? And I started to hate myself.

Every revision became an ordeal. Every comment, no matter how nicely delivered, gave reasons for the voices in my head to start whispering awful stuff. Everyday, I carry this weight as heavy as the machines this project was about. I lost the passion for it and the drive to help my client. I was making the revisions with the mindset of wanting to finish it. Not wanting to create a fulfilling output. As much as I hated to admit it, I stopped caring.

And that’s when I started to see a light at end of the tunnel. It was just a tiny speck but I can feel it was out there. You know how when you’ve been on a really long trip on a bus or a car and you suddenly feel that you’re almost at your destination? And there’s this excitement in the air and people start to sit up straight. And they crane their necks and they press their noses on the windows. It was as if the energy came back to the same level it was at the start of the journey.

It was on that penultimate moment that I started to pick myself up and the voices started to fade. The excitement I felt was back as if the whole revisions and frustrations never happened. I got focused on fixing it and I was even making extra effort in making it better. Of course there were still a few mishaps along the way, but it didn’t bother me anymore. because I knew where the project was going.

And I did it.

The moment my boss gave the thumbs-up for the final render, I LITERALLY dropped and rolled on the floor because the euphoric feeling was too much for me to contain. Of course, I didn’t actually do it in front of him, I still had to go back to my seat and stuff.

And that was it. It was a roller-coaster of emotions before I got here. And I am left with nothing but feeling of gratitude for the whole experience. And I’m looking forward to more projects. Even the dreadful emotions that come along with it.

Art Journal #9: She Don’t Give A

03-13

I’ve been trying out characters with outlines. I realized I liked drawing people a lot. And most of them are drawn from waist up. Now I need to practice full body poses. This is supposed to be my version of Dua Lipa during her BBC Radio 1 performance. She’s such a gem.

Anyway I’ve done this like weeks ago and I am only posting it now because busy busy busy. Maybe I’d talk about it sometime.

Art Journal #8: Sky

03-11

My first piece this month. Man, I’m been really busy last February. But here we are. I recycled my old sketches again and in this one, I tried this technique called Chromatic Aberration. It’s not as fancy as it sounds, it just means that you move the channels a little bit so it creates this really cool, distorted look. Anyway, it’s a quick art. I’ll come back for more.

Art Journal #7: Lines and Guys

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I recreated another work. In this piece, I tried using lines. I wanted to achieve a comic-style line art. It was a great idea but I realized the problem I had here is that I used only one kind of thickness. I watched a few tutorials about this and found out that I have to use a variety of thickness in my lines if I wanted to emphasize. This looks a bit…generic and it was as if the lines are just there. There is no depth and there is no life.

Gotta go and fix stuff! See ya!

Art Journal #6: Iñigo

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I’m back! I know, I know I’m two weeks behind my art journal. But I have been really busy with work and I had to work overtime on the weekends and stuff. Anyway, I’m back now with this random dude I saw on Instagram (not that random he’s like the son of some famous local actor). The fine edges looked awesome. I’ve already worked out the details on clothing. I also liked the contrast of the colors I used.

I guess I still have to practice more on details especially on hair. And the patterns of the background look so simple and boring.